The Raw Chef Blog

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg.  We are like eggs at present.  And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg.  We must be hatched or go bad.

C.S. Lewis

Been 100% raw for nearly 4 weeks now.  My emotions and appetite seem to be all over the place at the moment.  I’m not tearful as I was but sometimes I feel very ‘connected’ and sometimes I don’t, it can change several times in a day.  I also feel like I should be eating more but don’t actually feel hungry.  It feels to me like i’m ‘removing another layer of the onion skin’ and that i’m going through some kind of change, some kind of blockage removal.  I think it’s a good thing but it feels very strange.  I just feel like I need to ride it out.  I’m going to get a decent nights sleep tonight and I may do a juice day to see if that helps.  I may get myself a colonic as well.  When I blog i’m now going to include information about what I eat, so here’s what I had today:  A green juice this morning; 2 pieces of raw chocolate; a trail mix of goji berries, sultanas and cacao; a lemonade juice (1/2 lemon with rind on, 3 apples, 4 sticks celery) after my run and visit to the steam room; humus with baby toms; one cup white tea.

My new mattress arrived yesterday and it’s lovely.  I ordered it about 6 weeks ago from Next.  It’s called a ‘Cambridge’, how funny!  I slept on it last night (as you do!) with newly washed bed covers, aaaaaahhhhh, nothing like it.  Makes it very hard to get out of bed in the morning though!

Everywhere I turn at the moment i’m being told to give thanks and be grateful.  It seems impossible for me to get through the day without having a conversation, reading an email, reading a book, looking at a website, in fact anything, without being told that gratitude is everything.  I see this message at least 3 times a day….ok, I get it!!!  Having just written that last bit, i’m not sure if I have got it actually.  I see the message but do I give thanks enough?  I’m making a commitment here and now to fill out my gratitude journal everyday next week!

Got in contact with a life coach on Friday.  Well, I sent an email making some inquiries.  It’s something i’ve always promised i’d do for myself when I qualified to be an ADI and am earning decent money, and now here I am.  There’s lots going on in my head at the moment with regards to relationships, opportunities, money and just about everything.  Someone is becoming very important to me in my life and has brought as many questions as answers to my awareness.  There’s going to be alot going on in my world in one way or another in the next 12 months.  It’s fantastic stuff and I feel like I need outside help to channel it all.  I think this life coach I contacted could be the one to help.  We’ll see.

Popularity: 2% [?]

"There is wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart"

Charles Dickens

So Thursday was the day I was due to hand in my notice at Tesco.  If you read my previous blog, you will know that I wasn’t able to print out the resignation letter because I ran out of ink!  When that happened I have to admit that I started to think something was telling me not to do it.  I managed to dismiss it, telling myself not to look into things too much.  Now, the whole thing with handing my notice in at Tecso is the fact that the money situation will be a bit tight.  With that in mind, can you imagine what I was thinking when, on Thursday morning my mobile phone stopped working and my power steering malfunctioned.  All I could think was, "what if I didn’t have Tesco?  I would have to cancel all my lessons for that day (which I had to do on Friday) and also pay for these things to be fixed.  To top it all off, the garage said they couldn’t fit me in for a week!!!

So i’m driving to work, still trying to convince myself that none of these things were any kind of ’sign’.  Whilst at work I was able to give it some thought.  The thought of leaving was now feeling very uncomfortable but the thought of staying was even more painful.  So I started asking myself that if I am supposed to stay at Tesco a bit longer, what could be the possible reason?  Why am I being given these signs and feelings?….

Then an answer came to me!

I am planning to move out of Sussex next year.  When I move I will need to set up a base of pupils for my driving business, which will obviously take some time.  Staying at Tesco a little longer will enable me to earn money immediately when I move.  It will also allow me to make the move in February.  When that came to me, I got a total light bulb moment!  "Yes that’s it", it felt so right that I had absolutely no doubt around it.  What I can also do is transfer to a different job within Tesco until Feb so I can be happier while i’m there.

In the end my mobile phone didn’t t cost me anything to get sorted and neither did my car as it’s still under warranty, bonus!  So to get the answer I needed, I had to go through those things and actually go through the process of writing my resignation.  If you trust in the Universe, look for these things and ask the questions of yourself it really can be a beautiful thing.

Popularity: 2% [?]

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free"

Michelangelo

Little bit tired tonight as I only managed to get 3 hours sleep in last night.  Had to prise my eyes open this morning but still managed to get up and make my juice before I started my day of lessons!  So what’s been happening?  Funny you should ask.  I was working my Tesco job yesterday and had what drunks refer to as a moment of clarity.  It suddenly dawned on me that i’m holding onto my job out of a complete false sense of security.  If i’m going to get things going in this next phase of my life I need to close this chapter and so have decided to hand in my notice.  I am working on my intuition and feel that if I take this action the universe will respond positively.  All the time i’m in that job i’m sending out a vibration that isn’t in alignment with who I truly am.  The funny thing is that i’ve just typed out the letter and my printer has run out of ink!!!!  I’m going to have to go to Tesco early tomorrow and get another cartridge, how ironic!

I was out delivering really late last night and had a couple of orders out in the middle of nowhere.  Have you been out on these beautiful clear cold evenings to a place where there’s no light polution from the street lighting?  I can highly recommend it.  It’s one of my goals to have my own telescope in my house so that I can spend time just looking at the stars at night.  There’s so many stars up there that you don’t usually see.  It’s really an amazing sight and it’s one that i’d forgotten about.  It got me thinking that those stars have always been there but I just haven’t been able to see them because I hadn’t taken time to move away from the bright lights and just look up.  I was thinking about other things in my life that are right there in front of me, beautiful things and people that, if I just took the time to ‘look up’ at, I would see thier twinkling beauty.  What would you see if you removed the haze and looked up at your life and the people in it?

Popularity: 2% [?]

"If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature’s way"

Aristotle

Yesterday saw myself and Lel going to see Jason Vale in London for one his seminars and then on to ice skating at The Tower Of London (see picture on the left).  Jason was on form as usual and hugely entertaining.  Lel really enjoyed herself.  What with this and her coaching session with Karen earlier in the week, she is buzzing and so motivated.  We were supposed to meet Jo there but unfortunately she had to stay at work and couldn’t make it which was a real shame.  We arrived late and I knew Jason wouldn’t let us get away with it, he asked us if we had a note!!!  We had lemonade made for us which is 2 apples and about a quarter of a lemon with the rind on, all juiced.  It tastes like lemon sherbert and reminded me that sometimes the simples recipes are the best.  The main thing I took from the seminar is how grateful I am to have the gift of movement.  How can we possibly complain about ‘having’ to get fit and exercise when there’s people (famous or not) in the world who would give anything to move again.  People like Michael Watson who worked hard for 10 years just to walk again after injury.  Powerful stuff.  Jason talked a little about his retreats which sound fantastic.  I didn’t really think it would be the kind of thing that I would like to go on.  I thought i’m into a bit more hardcore detox retreats than that but having looked at the detail it looks like a great week of recharge time.  A real chance to think and just ‘be’.

Skating afterwards was fun.  From the seminar we went to Chinatown to get durian, of course (it’s the law).  I only found one place that had it and we couldn’t get any cocos.  Lel did buy some some jackfruit and a custard apple though.  Fully fruited-up, we found the tube closed at Tower Hill and had to find an alternative route to the skating.  I find myself very calm in these situations now.  We were running out of time as our skating started at 6:30 and we only found out about the closure at 6:20ish!  I find that I can just focus on the outcome that I want, which in this case was to get to the skating for our session, then I can relax and let the solution flow in the knowledge that as long as I trust my intuition, the answer will be given.  We made it pretty much on time and had a right old skate!  Even though it wasn’t quite the winter wonderland that was advertised, it was quite a sight and we both managed to stay on our feet.  Good job really because I was absolutely ‘kin freezing and hitting the deck wouldn’t have been good.  We did also see some spectacular falls!!!  Isn’t it funny how people fall flat on their ass and then try to save face and make out they look cool by getting up and telling everyone, "i’m ok, that didn’t hurt, no really, look at me now, i’m fine…."

Things seem to be going well on the food front for me.  I’ve kept all raw since going to California.  I’m starting to notice a bit of sensitivity on the emotional front.  The other day, on the way back from a lesson with a pupil, I was listening to Scott Mills on Radio 1.  He was doing a couple of his ‘random acts of kindness’.  The first was a guy who had lent a woman, who he didn’t know, 40 quid for her train fare home.  This woman had had a crappy day and couldn’t get any Cashback because of her card.  There were no ATMs anywhere and she would have missed her train.  This shop keeper lent her the money so she phoned Radio 1 who then got in contact with him and arranged a dinner for him and his family.  To top it off he then donated the money to Children In Need instead of taking the night out.  He said that if we all can’t help each other out as human beings then who can we help? He also said that he’s just grateful to be able to put food on his family’s table.  That set me off!  The second random act was a guy who had phoned about a little girl called Molly who was the daughter of a friend of the family.  She has cancer and is, at 6 years of age, going through chemotherapy.  They arranged for her to speak to the Tweenies on the phone and go to one of their shows.  When one of the Tweenies (I’m led to believe his name is Jake?!!) spoke to Molly he said, "i’ve been told your a very brave girl".  To which Molly replied, "yes I am".  My god, will somebody hand me the mansize tissues please?!!!

I’m also noticing a attraction to music at the moment.  I didn’t take any tunes with me to the US and have been listening to music whenever I can since my return, even more than I usually do.  I’m not sure if I just appreciate it now i’ve been without it or if it’s something deeper.

Popularity: 2% [?]

"It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the very best, you will often get it."

W. Somerset Maugham

It’s been unusually long since my last entry so i’ve got a couple of things to catch up on.  I was going to Blog last night but I didn’t get home until after 10pm and was practically falling asleep all afternoon and evening, and come to think of it, all morning too!  I think all the traveling has caught up with me.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if i’d been getting early nights but I just haven’t!  I was on the phone until about 1am on Monday night.  Have you ever had one of those phone conversations where you’re so into that person and really connecting with them that you forget what time it is and then when you realise the time, you don’t care anyway?!!!  So it’s an early night for me tonight, honest!

No I haven’t eaten the rabbit raw!!!!  The rabbit (Dylan) has been 100% raw for a few days now and I have been informed he’s thinking of putting a blog together, ‘The diary of a raw rabbit’.  He’s a very happy bunny (literally) when he gets his kale, carrot, brussel sprouts, parsley and celery in the morning.  He has said that he’s getting a bit bored with salad and that even just a bit of dressing would go down a treat.  I told him to look at the rest of his life to see if there’s anything that he could change to make it more interesting, rather than blaming the food.  He’s still thinking about it.

Anyway, he actually does love his food and almost takes Lel’s hand off when she puts it down for him.  But no matter how much he goes mad and enjoys it while he’s eating it, he will always stop when he’s full and then tuck in again later.  Now repeat after me everyone, "Hmmmmm, something to think about".

I need a system…

Things are getting busy for me around here at the moment.  I’ve got my fingers in many (raw) pies, so to speak.  I spoke to 3 people about instructor training (me training them to instruct) and i’ve got another one to speak to today, they all seemed very interested.  I’ve also got my learner pupils, although that is a bit quieter leading up to Xmas.  I’ve got 2 days a week that I still do for Tesco (again, more on that in a bit) and i’ve got some really exciting stuff on the proverbial horizon.  Coming back from hols and trying to catch up is always a bit of a challenge.  ‘To do lists’ just aren’t doing it for me because they focus on what’s got to be done rather than what it is that I want, or as Tony Robbins would call it, my ‘outcome’.  I’ve had Tony’s RPM system and Time Of Your Life audio program for longer than I care to admit and have yet to use it properly.  I was feeling so overwhelmed the other night that I just thought, "Now is the point in my life to really use this thing".  I’ll keep you up to date with how that’s going.

So anyway, I said I would mention the Tesco thing that I seem to still be doing.  My intention was to hand in my notice there as soon as I was a fully qualified ADI.  What i’ve found is that I still need to attract a few more customers before I do leave.  There is one thing about that though…having been pretty much 100% raw for several weeks now i’m finding it hard to do anything but that which I absolutely love.  Couple that with the fact that i’ve had a glimpse of my future when I was in the US.  What do I mean by that?  Well, I feel so in tune with my vibrational input and output that Tesco seems very far away from what I should be doing with 2 days of my week.  It’s a beautiful and difficult thing, all at the same time.  Stay tuned for how this one turns out ‘cos i’ve got a few ideas and I ain’t afraid to use ‘em damn it!

Did have a funny situation yesterday when I was out in a Tecso van though.  I turned into a road around Goodwood to be met by an 80 year old lady in her car blocking the road, facing towards me (the road was only wide enough for one car).  I held back, waiting for her to move which she eventually did.  She rolled down the window and tried to tell me I was going the wrong way down a one-way street.  I didn’t want to tell her that in my real job i’m a driving instructor as I thought that would ruin the surprise!  I pointed out the road markings, the signage and the lack of a no-entry sign to which she could only answer, "I should know, i’ve lived here for 16 years".  Apparently that fact is more important than what the Highway Code says and she wouldn’t accept any of my points.  She finished off by saying, "well you’re not coming through, i’m going to block you in".  It was at that point that I smiled sweetly and drove past her before she could reverse back.  Gotta love old people in cars!!!

Got up late yesterday and didn’t have a chance to make myself any food so I went to the organic section at lunch to pick up some bananas.  I also picked up a couple of small fruit salads which weren’t organic but I made the best of a bad situation.  So yesterday was all fruit and I really felt it in my teeth.  Oh I almost forgot, I did have 2 pieces of raw chocolate in the morning that Lel and I made.

Veg Out

Got my first organic veg box delivery yesterday with loads of kale.  When I phoned up ‘Veg Out’ (great name) and said that I wanted extra kale she was surprised because most people want the kale left out.  I did get her to leave out the spuds and leeks though.  Unfortunately I didn’t realise she had 2 bags of Brussel Sprouts planned for me!  The lesson here is make sure you get a full run down of items before delivery.  I might have to get the steamer out and steam them (hang him!) or just give them to Dylan.

Popularity: 2% [?]

"There is never a reason for you to be without something that you desire.  Nor is there ever a reason for you to experience something you do not desire - for you hold absolute control of your experiences"

-’Ask & It Is Given’, Esther & Jerry Hicks. The teachings of Abraham

Back home now and loving getting back into the swing of things.  I had an incredible time in SF that last day, my boat trip in beautiful sunshine over to Alcatraz was a fantastic way to end an extraordinary trip.  The highlight of that day was the audio tour of the cell block in Alcatraz and seeing Al Capone’s cell.  I was shocked at how small the cells really were.  I went in one and can’t even begin to think what it must have been like to spend up to 23 hours a day in there.  Also went into one of the solitary confinement cells.  This is where prisoners would be kept in complete deprivation of light, sound and any human contact, not even knowing what time it is or whether it’s day or night.  I heard how one of the inmates used to take a button off his shirt and throw it up in the air.  He would then spin round and get down on his hand and knees to look for it, this simple task was to stop himself going insane.  It’s interesting to look into the real history of Alcatraz and find out the truth behind the Hollywood interpretations (The birdman of Alcatraz never actually had birds in there and certainly wasn’t the nice Grandfather figure he was portrayed as!).

My last afternoon was invested in a taxi ride accross town to Cafe Gratitude to eat and stock-up fr the plane ride.  I actually ate all that food before I got on the plane which was fine because it was a night time flight and I wouldn’t be eating anyway.  The steward on the plane couldn’t understand that I didn’t want anything to eat or drink, the beef ravioli or chicken whatever didn’t seem very attractive!  I’ve always (I say always, I mean always until I started eating raw) loved plane food because I love all the little packages that it comes in.  One day they will have a living foods meal as a special meal that can be ordered before flying, like the vegetarian option can be.  It’s going to happen, trust me!!!

Seem to be adapting to the time difference really well.  I don’t actually think I fully adjusted to the difference when I went out there so my body is just glad to get back to the familiar cycle.  Had good intent to go to bed early last night but didn’t get to sleep until 2am even though i’d only had about 1.5 hours sleep on the plane.  I was so disorientated when I woke up at 7am this morning I didn’t know what day or time it was at all.  Went straight downstairs for a juice and a bounce on my rebounder with my funky cordless headphones on, what a great way to start the day.

I’ve been 100% raw (ok, 99% because of the Nama Shoyu and nutritional yeast etc…get over it!!!) for over 2 weeks now, not because I had planned it like that but purely because of where i’ve been and how i’ve continued to eat since i’ve been back.  It’s so nice to get back to my Kale and avocado salads!!!  I’m so completely fascinated by the connection I feel when I eat this way.  When I combine it with physical activity and a spiritual focus I start to see synchronicity that never fails to amaze me and make me smile.  If I told you some of the things that happened to me yesterday (and I won’t just yet) you wouldn’t believe me.  I’m not just taking about one thing either, i’m talking about 2 or 3 big things which all seemed to point in the same direction.  You’ll find out about this in the coming months.

I’m off for a bounce now and i’m going to show Lel how to make chocolate which will also give me a chance to quantify the recipe.

Popularity: 2% [?]

"It is easy to sit up and take notice.  What is difficult is getting up and taking action."

-Al Batt

In my last entry I said that the next time I write would be when i’m back home, well, that’s not strictly true.  I got a little bit confused about the day of the week and thought that I was flying back last night when it’s actually tonight.  I still decided to get a lift to SF with Amanda as I wanted to avoid the bus at all costs.  I also thought the ride would be fun and it would be an excellent opportunity to explore SF.

I really enjoyed my last night in Fort Bragg.  We went to a beautiful little town called Mendocino.  Loads of films have been shot there including ‘Overboard’ with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.  It’s also where ‘Murder She Wrote’ was filmed, I got some photos of the house they use which is now a B&B.  They’ve got a fantastic cooperative organic store in Mendo.  I’ve never seen a selection of herbs and tea like it!  And what an organic produce section!  Bought myself some ‘Raweos’ (raw cookies) for the plane journey home. 

Went to bed that night and realised that i’m starting to manifest stuff in my life.  Actually, I should put that another way…i’m consciously manifesting things and am getting good at allowing them into my reality.  If this subject interests you I can’t recommend ‘Ask & It Is Given’ highly enough.  You can click on it in the side bar of this site.  If it doesn’t interest you, buy it anyway!  And make sure you read it!!!  I was reading a really important chapter on dreams and how they are significant in what you are manifesting.  Then it suddenly dawned on me that Lel had bought me a book on understanding dreams and given it to me at the airport so I could read it while i’m away…Spooky stuff!  It looks like i’m going to finish Ask & It Is Given so I will read my dream book on the plane.

It was such a gorgeous day yesterday.  Much of our journey down from Fort Bragg was along the coast, the scenery is just stunning.  We also came into SF over the Golden Gate bridge and had planned to stop at the view point but missed the turning!  It was still fantastic to go over this bridge that i’ve seen on TV and and films so many times.  You also get to see Alcatraz as you come round the bay, what a chilling site that is!  I’m so excited because i’m going to get a boat over there today and have a look around, you know, do the tourist thing.

We dropped Patricia off at the airport at about 3pm yesterday and then went off in search of Cafe Gratitude, the raw cafe.  I absolutely love Cafe Gratitude.  The energy in there is great as is the food!  The owners of the place designed a board game called ‘The Abounding River’ based upon gratitude, consciousness and all that stuff.  They wanted to have a place where people could come to play the game for free.  This was about the time they were getting into raw foods so they decided to make it a raw restaurant where the tables have the board under the glass so you can eat, drink and play!  It’s so great in there, you have a table that fits 4 people and what you get when it’s busy is 2 sets of 2 people sitting together that don’t know each other, having a chat.

The food is exceptional and when you look at the menu you see that the dishes are all named as affirmations (it’s really not as hippy as it all sounds!!!).  One of the things I had was ‘I Am Cherished’ which is a pomegranate cheesecake.  When the waitress serves it to you they tell you the name of the dish to make sure it’s yours and as they do it they read it back to you.  So when I got my cheesecake she gave it to me and said, "you are cherished".  Nice touch!!!

Anyway that’s me done for now.  I’m going to get myself sorted and visit Alcatraz then get something else at Cafe Gratitude.  Then it really will be time for my plane.

Popularity: 2% [?]

"There is no condition so severe that you cannot reverse it by choosing different thoughts.  However, choosing different thoughts requires focus and practice.  If you continue to focus as you have been, and believe as you have been, then nothing in your experience will change."

-’Ask And It Is Given’, Esther & Jerry Hicks, The teachings of Abraham

I’ve got some time to myself today so woke up early to a beautiful sunny morning and went for a walk down to the beach.  The cliffs and the waves along this coast line are incredible, I took some really great piccies.  It was so nice to sit on the cliff looking out to sea with the sun on my back and the fresh sea air on my face.  It was a perfect time for some reflection on my trip and what comes next.

Amanda confirmed that she is going to be able to take me to San Fran tomorrow which has made me very happy.  Not only do I not have to worry about the busses but I also get to go to Cafe Gratitude, a raw cafe in SF.

Getting used to the roads a little bit more now.  They don’t have roundabouts here, only crossroads.  Although i’m not driving it still takes some getting used to when you’re crossing these huge (wide) roads and thinking about which way to look.  I’ve found that even though the pedestrian crossings are letting you cross, they don’t always hold traffic turning right so you have to be very aware.  All of the drivers that i’ve seen are very considerate to pedestrians.  I’ve also seen  driving school cars!

I’m constantly impressed by the availability of organic food here.  I’ve never seen tomatoes as red and succulent as the toms we been using.  I’m even more passionate about supporting local organic farmers when I get back.  It’s so important, every penny you spend on organic produce is a vote that is counted.  I’ve worked for Tesco for over 10 years and I know that people power rules, they cannot afford to ignore what you spend your money on.  It’s very encouraging to see that the biggest growth area in the food is organic.  Of cousre, buying local is even better!

We had a talent contest the other night which turned into a bit of a laugh with a couple of guitars, some singing, some bongos and some tribal style (excuse my ignorance, it’s the only way I can think of describing them) flutes.  It was fantastic fun at the end of a very hard day and was just what was needed.  Jason, one of students was very entertaining, I’m so fascinated by people who can perforn like that.  He’s got a great voice and did a few tracks including one from The Verve and a Bob Dylan/Guns N Roses number.  It really inspired me, i’ve got a guitar that I bought years ago but never learnt how to play (that’s the enthusiast in me, thinking something’s a good idea and not actually seeing it through).  I’m going to take some lessons when I get back and also have some singing lessons, my housemates are going to love me!!!  I have heard that there’s great health benefits in singing (whether you sound good or not) and i’m sure that being able to sing and play would have profound spiritual and psycological benefits.

I’m off to the deli now to have a sarnie (almond bread, cashew dijonaise, salad….fantastic!) before I start ‘work’.  I call it work because I don’t know how else to describe it.  I think I heard Bob Proctor say that work is something that you do that you think of having no personal benefit, or words to that effect.  If you do something that you love then it’s not work.

The next time I write will probably be at home so i’ll check-in then.

Bye for now.

Popularity: 2% [?]